Countless variations of fairy tales that convey a moral or social lesson through interesting characters and imaginative settings have existed throughout history all over the world. Often the tale will involve a far-fetched sequence of events or an element of magic that stimulates our imagination and implores us to keep reading. Fairy tales often project fantastic or frightening other worlds in which ugly beasts are transformed into princes, villains are turned into stone, and wishes are granted for those who are good and virtuous. But before we get to “happily ever after”, we must first read a tale of good vs. evil. In every fairy tale lies a timeless, ever-changing world, where anything is possible, good triumphs over evil, hope is alive, and dreams come true. For the most part the purpose of a fairy tale is to entertain the reader and subtly pass on a moral or lesson, but are the morals and/or lessons reasonable? And do the false realities and fearful concepts in these fairy tales do more harm than good to the children who read them?
One dangerous commonality of fairy tales is instant wish fulfillment.
Cinderella scrubs the floors while wearing rags as she looks off into the distance at the beautiful castle and sobs desperately to go to the ball. But it wouldn't be a fairy tale if her fairy godmother didn’t show up to grant her wish and she didn’t live happily ever after with Prince Charming, would it? What moral did Cinderella teach us? That we should treat others the way we want to be treated? Good. That if you do as you are told then a fairy godmother will appear out of nowhere and grant your wish? Not so good. It's a dangerous perception bordering completely on fantasy. These stories teach children that life is all about wishes coming true, much like how the “Ugly Duckling” turns into a beautiful swan when he wished just that. It’s a beautiful lesson of hope and everyone needs to be given hope at some point. In fact “The Ugly Duckling” has always been one of my favorite fairy tales. I think it‘s a perfect story to read to children of any age who may feel a bit awkward or shy. The last line of the tale is the most telling of all. “I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an ugly duckling” (Anderson) It’s sweet and it makes us feel as if anything can happen which is a good feeling for children as well as adults, but it also gives a false reality which can be dangerous.
It seems that fairy tales were written specifically to create these false realities in order to get children to change their behavior. Although many of these writers do have the very best intentions, let us not forget that in some fairy tales giants devour little children and second wives feast on their stepdaughters. In “Hansel and Grethal the witch sits in wait and readies her cauldron to boil the children up. Snow White's stepmother is so determined to own Snow White’s beauty secrets that she sets out to devour her liver and lungs, and so on. So if the theory that fairy tales are to teach our children to be brave, then we shouldn't be surprised if they end up becoming deranged cannibals. We taught them early. There is a good virtue somewhere in both of these stories. “Hansel and Grethal” teaches the child that very bad things can and do happen but that they can be survived and overcome. A very realistic lesson. In Snow White we learn that jealousy and vanity will do you more harm than good, also realistic.
But is the moral worth exposing our children to cannibalistic acts?
In Hans Christian Anderson’s fairy tale “The Emperor’s New Clothes” the lesson learned was to not believe everything you are told, but the story is about a man walking around town nude. In “Little Red Riding Hood” by, Charles Perrault, our children learn not to talk to strangers. It’s just too bad that Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother had to be eaten to teach that valuable lesson.
I believe the answer to all of this lies in Chapter 9 of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland”, when Alice meets up with the Duchess:
'You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'
'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.
'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Every thing's got a moral, if only you can find it.'
Everything has a moral. Every fairy tale, novel, legend, movie even actual life experience has a moral, if you know how to find it.
My point here is, that there are potential positive and negative lessons in every aspect of life, including the stories we read to our children. As those who guide children, we must recognize that a child cannot always distinguish the difference from fantasy and reality. Although children have the most vivid imaginations and that is something that should be encouraged, they should not be deceived about the truth of things. The positive use of stories can stimulate courage, inspire nobility of heart, modeling the honor in the truth and give hope for better things to come. It’s our responsibility as parents and educators to help children differentiate between what is reasonable and what is absurd. Evil witches, wicked stepmothers, ugly stepsisters, and fairies are all popular characters in fairy tales, but stepmothers aren't always wicked, stepsisters aren't always ugly and fairies aren‘t real. The same truth applies that princes aren't always charming and peasants aren’t always courageous and heroic. Fairy Tales make too extreme of examples for children and they have a “two-edged sword” sort of approach when teaching a moral because it seems to always leave an unrealistic example of “every dream that you wish, will come true” Should we choose to read fairy tales and stumble across a lesson of a moral, we must show the reality of the situation and then explain the importance of the lesson if we choose to adopt it. We must also explain the unrealistic nature of the tale as a whole. The lessons can be reasonable and the stories can be fantastically magical and inspiring with the proper guidance.
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