I Saw it on the T.V.

Here's the latest writing exercise. The prompt was "I saw it on the T.V." The only rule was it had to be a prose. Embarrassingly I didn't even know what a prose was. I must have been at the beach the day we learned that one in school, so I hit up Google and learned something, I think, I hope. Well anyway, Enjoy!

Wee - By Reno Romero

I saw it on TV. A commercial. I think it was for an insurance company, but I can’t say for sure. I watch so much TV and see so many damn commercials it’s hard to tell. Anyhow, the commercial had a little pink pig in it. It was in the backseat of a car and going “wee” and holding a spinning pinwheel. The driver was annoyed. And so was the kid sitting next to the pig. But I wasn’t. In fact, I was rather amused and started laughing like I hadn’t in a long time. It was refreshing. I laughed long after the commercial ended.

“Wee!”

I told a friend about the commercial and how I wanted a little pink pig that said “wee” in the backseat of my car. That I would take him around town so he can make me laugh, remind me of how charming life can be. But she killed the mood like a typical jaded adult.

“The pig is not real, Reno,” she said.

I wanted to tell her no shit. In fact, I wanted to tell her no frickin shit.. But I didn’t.

“Wee!” I told her and hung up the phone.

Proposal - By Corky Smith

I saw it on the T.V. It was prose. A proposal prose.
A proposal from a handsome man, gorgeous in fact.
It’s stayed with me ever since . It’s stuck in my mind.
And on the tips of my fingers the prose also lingers.
Oh’ fingers. It’s on the tip of my tongue. Stop that!
Back to the T.V. Back to the prose at hand. Oh hands.
Enough! A man on one knee, I think it was his right.
With desperate eyes he looked up at his one true light.
You may wonder if his eyes were blue. Yes they were.
They were perfect. The perfect shape. The perfect depth.
Obvious from the look on his face that he loved her so.
Obvious within her eyes that she loved him just as much.
You may wonder what color her eyes were, blue as well.
But he didn’t clearly see it. T’was not as obvious to him.
His innocent face was beautiful and sadly a bit doubtful.
Her tired eyes were devoted, determined and blissful.
She had been waiting for this moment for her entire life.
Her heart and soul not complete until she was his wife.
“If she says No, I’ll drop dead.“ To himself he had said.
“My Darling, Will you do me the honor and marry me?”
Yes Oh’ Yes! But you should know it‘s my honor too.
It was romantic. Pure blissful love. A dream come true.
I’ve read of it in books. I’ve seen it on the big screen.
They’ll live happily ever after just you wait and see.
I know it’s a true story because I saw it on the T.V.

Execution- By Corky Smith

I saw it on T.V. The man thought he was a genius although his portrayal was hideous.

His hair, his suit, his words. Gelled, polyester, cocky and slurred.
He had a toothy grin that was born of sin.
They were both in college. He was aroused with his own knowledge.

In his mind the woman swooned. Requited attraction only assumed.

His mouth, his breath, his hand. Wanting, sour , like paper made of sand.

She screamed to a deaf ear. The night she met her greatest fear.

He was delighted at the new twist, when she chose to clench her fist.

Her fight, her strength, her will. Determined, unyielding, produced a heard shrill.

Then came his arrest to which he did protest. “No, no she loves me, she wanted this to be." 

Justice served with absolution, for today I watched his execution.

Feed Jake

  In my first year of college, I took a psychology course.  In that class I learned something that stays with me to this very day.
 Sigmund Freud wrote: "Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object relations." In other words, unlike people, dogs are without ambivalence. People can love and hate the same person, on the same day, even at the same time. This is unthinkable for dogs. Some people believe, that it’s because dogs are just not that complex. I believe, they are less confused about what they feel. It is as if once a dog loves you, he always will, no matter what you do, no matter what happens, no matter how much time goes by. Dogs have a remarkable memory for people they have known and an infinite loyalty for the ones they love.
While growing up, my family had several dogs. I enjoyed every one of them, however it was not until I got my own dog that I felt a true bond with an animal. He was a black lab mix. I named him Jake after the country song “Feed Jake”, because that song always touched me. All the other puppies in his litter were getting sick, so Krista, his mothers owner called me and said: "If you want this puppy then come and get him, but he will require extra care.” He was three weeks shy of the proper weaning age and so tiny. For three weeks I got up with him every two to four hours to bottle feed him. This ritual created a bond that I had never felt before in my life.
Jake grew up healthy and happy. The first few years of his life we lived just off a riverbed, so he had plenty of running space. He was never gated in or tied up. He would run and play most of the day and come home every evening about the same time to eat. Sometimes he came home alone and sometimes he brought stray dogs home with him. One time, and I believe one of his proudest moments, he brought home a dead calf carcass. He left it on the front step and joyfully wagged his tail when I came out the door. It was the grossest thing I had ever seen and that is saying a lot.
Most nights after dinner I would sit at the table to do my schoolwork and he’d lay on my feet and keep them warm. He was very protective over me and only me until I introduced him to my first born daughter, Alyssa. When Alyssa was born I was a bit nervous to have such a big dog in the house with such a tiny baby. It wasn’t long until I realized that my fears were unnecessary. He loved her as much as I did. By the time Alyssa was toddling around, Jake had begun to watch over her too. I remember one time she took a tumble in the back yard and he barked to get my attention then ran to her side nudged her with his nose to make sure she was ok. They spent most afternoons playing together in the back yard and in the summer time, Alyssa was more than happy to share her little plastic pool with him. Then when Kaylee was born, Jake had another person to love and the same with Joshie.
In Jakes life he:
Was in several fights with other dogs.
Got tangled in barbed wire.
Was hit by several cars.
Made several visits to the pound.
Dug too many holes to count.
Took a swim in the neighbors pond and ate their koi fish. (They didn’t like that)
He also let himself into their house through the doggie-door to sleep on their sofa.
( The man of the house woke at 4:00 am to find a 100 lb dog on his sofa. He was really not happy then.)
Fathered an unknown number of puppies.
Peed on almost every one of our Christmas trees and chewed up numerous gifts.
He also,
Barked when someone strange approached our fence.
Played numerous rounds of tag and hide-and-go-seek with the kids.
And hours of Frisbee and fetch with anybody who would join him.
He was a jungle gym and pillow for little Josh.
A dress-up doll for Alyssa and Kaylee.
He was a hunting companion and a security system.
He was always happy to see us come home and sad to see us leave.
He trusted each one of us explicitly.
He kept us safe and always gave us unconditional love.

Jake had a very forgiving heart, one of the before mentioned cars that hit him was mine. I actually hit him twice in his later years, because I had taken for granted the speed of his youth and backed into him. The guilt I felt broke my heart and I kissed his stinky head and apologized profusely, but ultimately it was wasted energy, because Jake never held it against me. He never asked for much either. All it took to make him happy was food, clean water and a quick rub behind his ears.
He never complained about us, got angry with us, forgot to greet us, or ignored us when we needed him. Although, we did all of those things to him.

It has been two years now since we lost our Jake. I was working at the track and Josh was out working in the yard. Jake’s health had been getting worse for several months. He had stopped eating and was in visible pain. We had planned to have him put down, but didn’t want to spoil the Easter holiday for the kids, so we had decided to wait until the following week. It was as if our loyal friend knew how incredibly difficult that decision had been for us, so he went on his own. He had been sleeping in the garage and Kaylee walked past him, as she did so, he growled. Growling at any one of us for any reason was way out of character for him. She knelt down by his side as he continued his growl. Kaylee yelled for her dad, because she knew something wasn’t right, but he was out in the yard and couldn’t hear her at first, but when he finally did, he joined her at jakes side as he took his final breaths. Later Kaylee told me that she didn’t want to leave Jake alone. She sat with him in the garage petting his head and telling him he was "a good boy". When they knew he  was gone, they called me on the phone and I came right home. The sadness in my heart over Jake’s death was quickly replaced with the pride I was feeling for Kaylee. Not many eight year olds would have shown such compassion and maturity.
Jake was one of a kind. I am sure many other dogs will pass through my life, but I will always reserve a piece of my heart for Jake. He’s been a good dog.
R.I.P. Old Friend Oct. 1994 to April 2009

Bonus Number of Ten

Me and some of my friends did a writing exercise. We were all given the same rules. One: The promt was "With a bonus number of ten." Two: It had to be comical. Three: It had to be 500 words. 

"Bonus Number of Ten"

With the bonus number of ten dancing in his head Hamilton woke with a smile on his face. This was the day he’d been waiting for, for the past thirty-nine years. A few weeks ago Hamilton got a call saying that had been chosen to be a contestant on his favorite T.V. game show.
For as long as he could remember Hamilton spent Friday nights watching Bingo Bonus with his mother. Every week she would make them a bowl of popcorn and a pot of coffee then spit popcorn bits through the air as she screamed at the television for the entire length of the show. A few years ago Hamilton started sneaking whiskey into his coffee cup, making it much easier for him to tolerate his mothers disgusting popcorn shower as she shouted all the wrong answers at the contestants on T.V.
Hamilton got dressed in his leisure suit, which was a bit snug, gelled down his frizzy hair into a perfect left part and pumped some of his best Christmas cologne on his freckled neck. Satisfied with his appearance he headed up the stairs out of the basement and into the kitchen.

“Good morning.” His mother said without lifting her eyes from her copy of The Enquirer. “What’s that smell?”

“Good mor…”
“Christ almighty! Where the hell are you off to and did you use the whole bottle of that cheap crap? I think all my nose hairs are burned clean off!”
“No Mother, they’re all still there. I can see them sticking out a mile away. Did you feed the cats?”
“Yes I fed those whining bastards! Lucky I don’t shoot every one of um! Useless smelly animals. Now tell me what you‘re up to.”
“I have an engagement down town.”
“Oh, an engagement. Excuse me. He has an engagement” She said to one of the cats. “ What engagement do you have?”
“Just something I have to do”
“Well aren’t you a Mr. Fancy pants?”
Hamilton pet each of the cats as he walked past them toward the door and without another word he left.
In the bathroom of the train station Hamilton stripped off his baby blue suit and replaced it with a black AC-DC t-shirt and tight leather pants. He ran a comb through his hair making it ratted mess. He got the black eyeliner that he had stolen fair and square from his mother and in true Kiss fashion, he applied it to his eyes and lips.
It was well past midnight when Hamilton arrived home and his mother was in her recliner with a lit cigarette hanging from her mouth.
“It’s about time you show up! I thought you might be dead in a ditch somewhere!”
“Geez Mother”
Some freak of nature named Hamster won the ten thousand dollar grand prize on Bingo Bonus tonight. ”
“Oh really? Sorry I missed it. Goin to bed, good night.”
“Good night.”
And with a bonus number of ten dancing in his head Hamilton fell asleep with a smile on his face.


"Bonus Number of Ten" By Reno Romero

This is a true story.
Or maybe it’s not.

But what is true is that Gene loved his girlfriend Pammy. He loved her name.. Pammy. He loved her eyes, her hands. He loved the words she said. He loved how her left eye twitched when she was hungry.

“I love you, Pammy,” he said, on their first date. “I know this sounds weird. But my heart feels like it’s about to blow like a firecracker.”

Pammy didn’t know what to say. Two things were occupying her mind. One: men were always telling her that they loved her. And two: she was starving, her left eye rattling in seizure. The restaurant was new. The manager was a drunk. The cooks sucked.

Pammy wasn’t attracted to Gene’s looks. Wasn’t big on his bald head, his furry eyebrows, his large leafy ears. But he was a successful businessman, very arrogant, and made good money. She liked the money part. Gene’s only blemish—at least in his eyes—was his naïveté, not recognizing his now ex-wife was fucking not one but four different men while married to him. Pammy would hear this story like a broken record.

“She was sleeping with other men!” he once shouted. “She cheated on me! With Gene Weget of Weget’s Appliances!”
But Pammy was different than Lorraine. Wore dresses. Had painted nails. Didn’t snore like a bear or fart at the sight of anything that contained protein. Gene wanted to propose to her, but something told him to wait, to not rush things. But they weren’t getting any younger.

“Were both forty-one,” he told his brother, Darrell, a shoe salesman and championship duck caller. “I don’t want a girlfriend at this age.”

“Better a girlfriend then another mistake,” Darrell said.

Gene also told his brother that there were times he witnessed men staring strangely at Pammy. But Gene came to the conclusion that they were simply admiring her beauty. Even Gene’s pastor, a boyhood friend, seemed nervous when he was introduced to Pammy.

“Pastor John is probably not feeling well,” he told Pammy who seemed flustered herself.

“Men of God carry such a heavy load,” she said, looking away.
Despite that cautious voice telling Gene to hold off on the proposal he bought her a ring.

“I thought I’d never get rid of that bastard,” the saleswoman told her boss. “He was an asshole.”
Two nights before he was going to propose Pammy showed up at his house drunk. Gene hated alcohol. His mother was an alcoholic. His ex-wife was an alcoholic. He lost his temper. They yelled back and forth. They said ugly things.
“Yeah, you’re right, Gene, you bald big-eared idiot! I’m a drunk! Say what you want. Wanna know something else? I’ve been cheating on you!”
“What? I knew it! You Slut!”
“I was even cheated with your pastor! Which ain’t sayin’ much…”
“Get out!”
“You and ten others, Genie little Weinie,” she said staggering towards the door. “A bonus of ten.”